we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize