u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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