This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
