so that wasnt chicken after all
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
