That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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