Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
