How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
