You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
