I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
