oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
