i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
