You made me cry and you don't even care
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sorry about my life...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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