'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
