The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
