dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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