I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
