I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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