Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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