does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
