It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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