Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
