That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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