The maid of honor just puked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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