I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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