it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
