i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize