Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
