you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
