So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
