I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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