I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
