Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
