it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
