I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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