He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
