I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
