he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
