So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
