i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
