I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We left the knife in your bed.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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