If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize