i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
