I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
