It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
