Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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