Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
