he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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