Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
