my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize