good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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