And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
