my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize