The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
