i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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