Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
