Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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