she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
