Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
