he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
