Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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