marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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