what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
